In 1972, twenty-six-year-old Jürgen Bartsch, a child-murderer marked by illness and incarcer­ated in the Eickelborn psychiatric hospital, pro­vided his recollections while being videorecord­ed. Between 1962 and 1966, the butcher's assistant abused, tortured, and killed four schoolboys in Germany's Ruhr district. Just 15 years old at the time of his first crime and 19 when indicted, Bartsch's mesmerizing confes­sion is skillfully applied by director Kai S. Pieck to frame the preceding circumstances and dis­turbing reenactment of his inexplicable crimes. The Child I Never Was is an emotional jour­ney into the dark reaches of a troubled mind: his cold and severe adoptive parents, his terror-filled years at a Catholic boarding school, the discov­ery of his sexual attraction to boys, his desperate longing to avoid adulthood — these and other emotionally charged aspects of Bartsch's life unfold before us. However, it is the outward appearance of his normal daily life that ultimate­ly underscores the horror of his deeds.

Based on Bartsch's original letters and statements, as recorded in American journalist Paul Moor's book Jürgen Bartsch: Opfer und Täter, The Child I Never Was provides a chilling portrait of a murderer who craves our sympathy yet also depicts a charming beast who strikes an unsettling chord in our hearts.