Taking their inspiration from classic Hollywood crime drama, these five queer shorts ranging from the comic to the bizarre prove once again that crime doesn’t pay.

In Scarred, a young man scarred (literally) by his past has to face the future when he falls for an unusual guy. In the black-and-white noir pulp piece Lucky Man, a hard-drinking detective on the trail of a killer becomes involved in a cat-and-mouse chase that may expose his secret life. In Wingtips, our hero seems fixated on wingtip shoes. After donning the wingtips of his dreams (found under the loose floor boards in a dark attic) he embarks on a journey of self-discovery where danger lurks around every corner, and imminent disaster grows closer with every step he takes.

In the Spotlight affords an aspiring author the chance to be the front person for a literary hoax — and discovers a far worse fate than rejection. And Mommy, as played by Veronica Cartwright, always gets what Mommy wants in Mommy’s House, as the handsome bear/stud, jewel-thieving gay couple Richard and Carl find out when their getaway car breaks down on a dark mountain road.

And it wouldn’t be noir without a few gay stiffs here and there. Consider yourself warned.